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butch, Butch-Femme, butch-Femme dynamic, female masculinity, feminsim, femme, gender, labels, lesbian, lesbian feminism, sexuality, Stone Butch
I found this neat little document online. It shows where we were at about ten years ago in terms of analytic ‘sociological’ understandings of the Butch-Femme Dynamic:
http://spot.colorado.edu/~agoodloe/essays/bf-annotated-bib.html
Particularly appreciated
…the very movement that promised sexual freedom and autonomy for women instead made them slaves to a rigid and uncompromising form of sexuality, based on absolute equality in bed, which was both overly idealistic and ultimately unsatisfactory. In making “outlaws” out of anyone whose sexual practices appeared to operate on unequal power terms, the feminist movement effectively invalidated the experience of whole communities of lesbians whose identities were constructed around butch-femme role-playing…
Hollibaugh, Amber, and Cherrie Moraga. “What We’re Rollin’ Around in Bed
With: Sexual Silences in Feminism.” Heresies 12 (1981). (reprinted in Powers
of Desire: The Politics of Sexuality. eds. Ann Snitow et al. New York:
Monthly Review Press, 1983. 440-459)
But – ‘Role Playing’?
Sorry – no matter how positive some of these analyses of Butch-Femme Relationships may be – to me they miss the fundamental point that it’s not about role playing – it’s enacting our intrinsic, true selves. We cannot be whole and relate wholly unless we accept this in ourselves.
My truth is that I’m not ‘playing’ a role. Yes I play it up! I dress in a way that will be noticed, by appropriating strictly male attire and mixing it up with a bit of dandy flair. But I’m not playing a role – I’m being true to me.
So where are we at now?
Do we undertand this?
Or are we going to forever be in the shadows cast by the lesbian feminist, radical-feminist ideologies of the 1970’s?
Butch Anew 
You are making me feel old. I remember that argument. We were all supposed to be the same (femmes cut their hair, butches tried to soften up a bit and look earthy). Erotic was oppressive. Being attracted to a woman based on her looks was politically incorrect. Being butch was considered male identified and supporting the patriarchy. It was grim, but the political meetings were still hot.
😀 !!! I remember the standard uniform for the lez feminst separatists was a t-shirt and bib and brace overalls, short hair or shaved head. And yet they believed me to be soooo ignorant and politically unaware, due to my insistence on being Butch!
I was wearing smart jackets and trousers, sometimes dressed down in emboidered indian shirts and jeans. At one stage I donned bib ‘n brace overalls, but they were orange and green tie-dyed with screenprinted peace symbol. And I sported long hair! That confused ’em! Long hair is supposed to sexually attract men, right?
The Rad-Lez-Fem-Seps did not know how to process this stuff: an erudite, non-working class Butch with dandyish/hippieish dress sense, who fancied very feminine women – when ‘femininity’ had been banished. Yes, we were all supposed to be ‘wimmin’, uniform in sexuality and outward appearance. I stopped associating with them all. If this was feminism, then it left me right out, a pity when I look back on it – I’ve been a feminst from birth.
Love to Butches. Well written.
Thank you functionalfemme! I’d love to see your perspective on this: Have you been denied or even erased by feminist ideologies? What’s the current state of play from your perspective?
I suppose I was lucky. I came out into the world of butch/femme in California in the late 90’s. I was in a butch/femme relationship for 12 years and then found myself newly single at 40 trying to navigate in the lesbian community in Colorado was… well, less than optimal. I’m old school femme I suppose. Please open my door, bring me flowers and watch over me so I don’t have to worry about the badness of the world. There are very few butches that take care of femmes this way that I’ve seen lately. I also am very attracted to the very masculine end of the spectrum, again, tough to find these days.
As for feminist ideology – the truth of the matter is, men and women are not equal and never will be. We weren’t created to be. Yes, I cut all my gorgeous hair off for a long time to not be attractive to men. What I realized years later is that my femininity, my femme’ness, is the seat of my power and today I’ll be damned if I’m cutting my hair anymore. I’m femme, tough and very feminine. It is who I am and I don’t make any excuses for that. I can hold down a job, get dirty, muck stalls, break a nail and not be heartbroken, doll up in expensive heels or cowboy boots and make my butch swoon with a pouty-lipped sigh. Femme to the hilt – you betcha, and proud of it.
Cowbois Grrl,
Thanks for your comment, and your being wholly there as a femme – but…
‘Feminism’ – to me obviously means something completely different to the way you perceive it.
I am very proud to say I’m a Butch and a feminist. I do not in any way believe or subscribe to the inferiority of women. Difference yes – lower status, less rights, inferior abilities – no way.
The word ‘feminist’ has been hijacked and trivialised beyond recognition, and I’m afraid some of this has been done by those who call themselves feminists.
I feel a new blog post coming on – meantime check out my reblogging of Gallus Mag’s Response to Butch Lesbian Bashing and Erasure in the “RadFem Community”
Read the comments below the original blog post – you’ll find a lot of angry Butch feminists – maybe an insight into why Feminism is so damned important to Butches, Femmes…
Another Blog that might interest you is Kate”s ‘Butch Please’ at Autostraddle; i thought this piece on Butch and Femme was pretty apposite:
http://www.autostraddle.com/butch-please-butch-antiquated-152692/