Where to start?
With a statement: I’m an unfeminine and not very masculine Butch. I’ve been Butch all my life, and I’ll be exploring what that means in this blog. And I am a spiritual being. I’m also a Dandy – clothing adornment and accoutrements are an expression of the inner self. They signal to all who have clear understanding, who you are, in essence.
So what is this thing called butch?
There’s lots of terminology out there to descibe a person born with a female body but with a distinctly non-feminine mind and spirit, sometimes characterised as masculine, but really in a space somewhere between the cultural constructs we’ve created for masculine and feminine. It’s not a GENDER IDENTITY, and it’s not neccessarily linked to sexual orienation. We call it Butch.
I’m really not that ‘Butch’ in appearance or behaviour, though I do subscribe to, and adhere to, a code of behaviour that seems deeply instinctive in many of those women who identify, or are perceived, as Butch.
I recognise that my sexuality is an extension of my spiritual being, as is my intrinsic self identity.
I am very much aware of the full dimesions of my butch identity. The masculine/feminine united in apparent androgyny. The androgyne, in many cultures has been the shaman – an intermediary or messenger between the human world and the spirit worlds.
In many respects I’m not all that distinctly different from most other middle aged women. I’m a bit more assertive, but I also appear to be a bit of a nerd – a lttle distant, quiet, a watcher. My interests in history, classic and ancient languages, prehistory and archaeology, and esoteric subjects seem to confirm this impression to many people. For all that, all my life people have labelled me – Tomboy, Rebel, Dyke, Lesbian, Butch. (All misfit terms.) I’ve had these from total strangers in diverse situations and environments. They come at me with all kinds of labels and assumptions. No matter how I’m dressed, they pick up on the strong so called ‘masculine’ energy in me. Sometimes it’s an acceptance, a recognition, but often people are challenged by it, fear and resent it. I’ve been verbally abused by total strangers more often than I want to recall, on the basis of these perceptions and prejudices. I am lucky in that I have not been physically assaulted like some of my Butch bro’s.
I dedicate this work to my people: to Butch and Femme and all allies in the multifaceted sexuality and gender spectrum.